Runboard.com
You're welcome.
Community logo


runboard.com       Register for a free global account (learn about it) | Log in: (), globally (lost password?)


Page:  1  2 

 
Barry Subchimp Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info

Dr. Sanchez
Global user

Posts: 23
Reply | Quote
Will the real Garth Marenghi please stand up?


Was just reading the Wikipedia entry for a book by Stephen King, who I've often felt is just a ball-hair away from self-parody of Marenghi proportions. The only difference is that King is completely serious, which makes him funnier in a tragic sense.

Anyway, King auctioned off the chance for a place in one of his novels, The Cell, on eBay. Here's a brief description from the auction, and Christ on a bike - it sounds like it could have been ripped off from our own Humble Fabulist!!!


"One (and only one) character name in a novel called CELL, which is now in work and which will appear in either 2006 or 2007. Buyer should be aware that CELL is a violent piece of work, which comes complete with zombies set in motion by bad cell phone signals that destroy the human brain. Like cheap whiskey, it's very nasty and extremely satisfying. Character can be male or female, but a buyer who wants to die must in this case be female. In any case, I'll require physical description of auction winner, including any nickname (can be made up, I don't give a rip)."


How great is that? Especially the hatred of women part, it's pure Marenghi.

It's exactly like the stuff on Garth own site in the Canon section.


Stephen King is a FRAUD, I tells ya!
7/Mar/2007, 10:27 am Link to this post [Send PM to Barry Subchimp]
 
The DancingFool Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info

Wanton
Global user

Posts: 170
Reply | Quote
posticon Re: Will the real Garth Marenghi please stand up?


Wow. The sheer audacity of asking people to pay for something like that has stunned me. I'm sure steven king really needs the money...
7/Mar/2007, 12:12 pm Link to this post [Send PM to The DancingFool]
 
SaveDarkplace Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info

Garth Marenghi
Global user

Posts: 337
Reply | Quote
Re: Will the real Garth Marenghi please stand up?


I'm so tempted to bid with a darkplace name such as "The Temp"

---

7/Mar/2007, 8:52 pm Link to this post [Send PM to SaveDarkplace] [MSN] [Blog]
 
The DancingFool Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info

Wanton
Global user

Posts: 170
Reply | Quote
posticon Re: Will the real Garth Marenghi please stand up?


I'm going to bid with 'Awful Idea Smith'
8/Mar/2007, 3:41 pm Link to this post [Send PM to The DancingFool]
 
Barry Subchimp Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info

Dr. Sanchez
Global user

Posts: 23
Reply | Quote
Re: Will the real Garth Marenghi please stand up?


I think it's been and gone. As far as I know the book is now out. I'm not sure, but judging by the plot I read on Wikipedia the winner may have been someone called Alice - I say that because she dies.

It's all very Marenghi-esque. the outlandishly wrong-footed plots, oblivious to the cliches, the mistrust and disdain for women, and the ability to write his way up his own colon.

You can really see where Matt Holness gets it from.

King has now officially become a parody of himself
8/Mar/2007, 4:10 pm Link to this post [Send PM to Barry Subchimp]
 
Barry Subchimp Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info

Dr. Sanchez
Global user

Posts: 23
Reply | Quote
Re: Will the real Garth Marenghi please stand up?


Scratch that - it was won by some woman who gave it away asa gift. the character was a zombie-killing construction worker who specialised in explosives.
8/Mar/2007, 4:19 pm Link to this post [Send PM to Barry Subchimp]
 
Barry Subchimp Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info

Dr. Sanchez
Global user

Posts: 23
Reply | Quote
Re: Will the real Garth Marenghi please stand up?


It gets better!

I've just discovered the real Garth Marenghi. It's highly likely that Holness based him in large part on a bloke named Guy N Smith.

He's actually worse! And here's the pinch, folks: Smith has made a lot of money over the years writing complete shite that you and I wouldn't even dare commit to paper.

How bad is he?

"But what chance did they stand against this army of attacking pheasants?" – From Carnivore


"He did something that caused the elephant to go berserk and the potato vendor to burn to death." – From The Dark One

Check out his Wikipedia entry here:

[sign in to see URL]

Or, for a special treat, go to [sign in to see URL] and have a look at the Book store section to read the blurbs about each of his books. It's pure !@#$ comedy.

We may not get another Marenghi series, but at least we have !@#$ hacks like this to keep us amused.
19/Mar/2007, 2:29 pm Link to this post [Send PM to Barry Subchimp]
 
The DancingFool Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info

Wanton
Global user

Posts: 170
Reply | Quote
posticon Re: Will the real Garth Marenghi please stand up?


"Gordon would you … take me away from here? Take me with you, where there aren’t such things as wolves, Black Dogs and people cutting their heads off with saws." – from Werewolf by Moonlight

Thankyou so, so much for finding this emoticon
20/Mar/2007, 12:45 pm Link to this post [Send PM to The DancingFool]
 
JazzyJebus Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info

Wanton
Global user

Posts: 106
Reply | Quote
Re: Will the real Garth Marenghi please stand up?


"Blood. The sight of it, darkly streaked and spattered on his face.
The feel of it, stickily encrusted round his mouth.
The smell, cloying, stifling.
The taste, warm and sweet in the throat.
Blood. But whose? Dear God, what had he done? He dropped to his knees and howled his despair and anguish."

Wow, it is actually hard to tell the difference. I am feeling equal doses of laughter and pity, it is brilliant.
20/Mar/2007, 3:08 pm Link to this post [Send PM to JazzyJebus]
 
LovelyChicken Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info

Thornton Reed
Global user

Posts: 38
Reply | Quote
posticon Re: Will the real Garth Marenghi please stand up?


Sitting right next to me on my desk I have a copy of 'Cannibals' by Guy N. Smith.

The premise of Cannibals is that a family go on vacation to a remote SCOTTISH village and stumble on the secret that the villagers have been inbreeding for a few hundred years and have hidden any deformed children in the local caves. They have then grown up to become cannibals and come into the village regularly to catch people and eat them for dinner.

Some choice scenes from this pullitzer nominee (not):

'There'll be no more guid mornings in Invercurie.' Tom spat on the ground, 'The end is nigh. Are ye satisfied with what ye've done?'
'It's no my making,' Doug answered gruffly. 'It had tae come sooner or later. We bred them, hid them, now we must pay for it. If it hadna been this year it would've been the next.'
'They'll come today. See yon hawk? He kens, kens there'll be pickings for him before the sun sets behind Blair Long this evening.'

and more gold...

'It's tough on the likes of us unemployed, though,' Jayne answered. 'We can't afford to squander money just like that. we're trying to save up to get married.'
Cynthia tried to hide her disapproval. That couple who were missing weren't married either, she remembered. This place was a den of iniquity in more ways than one.
'Mummy, will Daddy be long?'
'Take some advice from me.' Cynthia ignored the child and looked at Jayne. 'Don't have any kids.'
'We take precautions,' Jayne laughed. 'I'm on the pill.'
Brazen b!tch, even admitting they had sex, Cynthia thought. This was clearly no place for a bank manager and his family.

Savour...

---
This cold night will turn us all to fools and madmen - King Lear, p46
20/Mar/2007, 11:25 pm Link to this post [Send PM to LovelyChicken] [MSN]
 


Add a Reply

Page:  1  2 





You are not logged in (login)